In 2015, Tabitha Bailey was a newlywed with her first child on the way. Everything was lining up perfectly in her life so she could have never anticipated that she would be faced with a brain tumor that would require her to undergo brain surgery just days after giving birth. Read about how she maintained a positive attitude with the support of her husband, family, friends, faith and strength from her newfound motherhood.
Part 1 – The Courtship
I met my phenomenal husband when we were both in 7th grade. Craig and I are both from the same hometown of Bakersfield, CA and would often run into each other at local student leadership events. We ended up attending different high schools, which is like living on different planets when you are that young, and had lost contact over the years. Fast forward to 2007, our junior year of college, Craig attended Arizona State University and I, California State University, Bakersfield. Craig had come across my Facebook page and was like, ‘hey…I know that girl’, and sent me a direct message. He was totally flirting, it was cute. We officially started dating June of 2012, and I was beyond smitten – our journey began.
Part 2 – Our Wedding
About two years into our relationship Craig proposed to me in 2014, the day before his 28th birthday. You know when you know, no need to waste time! I was on cloud NINE and so blessed to be his fiancé! Over the next year we attended pre-marital counseling sessions to prepare both mentally and physically for a successful marriage. **Side bar – pre marital counseling is CRUCIAL to any successful marriage! SO much knowledge and information we have been able to apply over this past year – I highly recommend it.** I also should mention that I made a vow to myself and God to wait on sex until marriage. With Craig in line with my commitment we planned our gorgeous wedding and got married on February 21, 2015.
Part 3 – Our Pregnancy
After our amazing wedding, Craig and I spent the next several months enjoying one another, travelling, and just being a fun young married couple. We decided that birth control wasn’t really for us, we figured this was in God’s hands. We weren’t trying for a baby per say but we weren’t avoiding it either. Approximately 5 months into our marriage, I found out I was pregnant with a beautiful baby girl! We were beyond excited! Our new baby would be the first grandchild for my parents and the first girl grandchild for my husband’s parents. With much planning and anticipation, I went along with my pregnancy and experienced the “normal” pregnant side effects. It was in my 3rd trimester that I started experiencing weird symptoms (extreme fatigue, vomiting, blurred vision, bad headaches and balance issues). I didn’t think much of it and wrote off these signs as pregnancy side effects. After several middle of the night ER visits and the doctor’s approval that I was all clear, I continued on wtih life. The last weekend in January 2016 I had a beautiful baby shower, ready to welcome baby Mali. The next week I became really, really sick! So sick that I couldn’t even get out of bed. My husband ended up calling my mom asking her to drive down to LA from Bakersfield and check on me. My mom made it to my place, made me get up, take a shower and eat. I remember sitting on my couch, vomiting and then I blacked out. The next thing I knew, I woke up and was in the hospital with half of my head shaved.
Part 4 – Our Crisis
My hair was gorgeous! I was rocking the natural look and my hair had grown SO much from the pregnancy hormones, and they CUT IT! (I still have to let this go…lol) A CT/MRI scan was finally ordered and I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. WOAH – unbelievable, I was pregnant with a brain tumor! My family and I were devastated to say the least, no one in our family had experienced this before. My fight or flight response triggered and I had no choice but to survive, not just for myself but for my family, my husband, and our unborn child – you have to do what you have to do as a mommy! My OBGYN was amazing and transferred me to one of the best hospitals in the world to figure out a plan of action and to move quickly. I felt like Beyonce when I arrived, I had an entire team of doctors and nurses anticipating my arrival. Apparently being pregnant with a brain tumor is very rare, there are only 80 cases a year worldwide, so they were anxious to say the least. At the time I was 33 weeks pregnant with Mali, so in order to deliver a healthy baby and successfully remove my tumor, I had to WAIT – endure a little over a week in ICU and allow Mali to develop before having my surgery. Just to let you know even a day in ICU will drive anyone insane! There are all kinds of tubes plugged to you, nurses everywhere and no sleep from the constant beeping of the machines and medicine administration. Mali was born February 8, 2016 via C-section. I was under complete anesthesia; I have no recollection of the birth of my daughter, and this makes me very sad. My brain surgery was February 10, 2015, 2 days after Mali’s birth, and would last 7 hours. I woke up in immense pain, but the surgery was a success! I was in the hospital for a month, undergoing 4 surgeries and a week of rehab. My phenomenal husband, overflowing with faith, love and devotion, stayed in the hospital with me every night for a month – I didn’t think I could love him anymore than when I said I do. I stand corrected.
Part 5 – My Recovery
Can I just say God is amazing? I have so many people praying, for me as I recover and heal. I feel every single prayer :). The recovery process has been long and extremely hard. My mother moved to LA for about six months to help my husband and I raise our newborn daughter (Thank you daddy for being at my bedside and allowing mommy to care for me during this crazy time.) I did not even have enough strength to lift her, and I was scared of my own daughter. Let me tell you how many crowns in Heaven my mom gets – she is incredible and set me up to succeed! My tumor was located on my Cerebellum, affecting my balance and motor skills. As of today, I walk with a cane, have vision issues in my right eye, and I’m unable to write well with my right hand. This is a vast improvement from where I started. I am reading a book titled, “Find Your Brave” by Holly Wagner, which speaks to overcoming life’s many storms with Christ as your healer and comforter. Every day is a challenge as I feel I am finding my brave daily, but I am confident in God’s promises that He will put nothing on you that you cannot handle. A lot of my healing process involves me conquering anxiety and fears, especially since I cannot drive yet due to my vision. Instead I take Ubers to gain some independence. I really listen to God.
This is not easy for me to talk about, but I know that in order for me to fully heal I must share my story and give all of the glory to God because I am here. I am here as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend! I have a purpose in this world, God has given me a purpose bigger than I ever could imagine. This is only the beginning…
To continue to follow Tabitha’s journey, follow her at @tabeebailey on Instagram. Connect with more stroke and brain injury survivors on the YouSoRock Facebook Support Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/yousorock.
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